10/08/2026
🚨 Ansonborough House Employee Spotlight! 🚨
Meet Joseph Schlabs, Junior Director of Operations & Quality Control! 👶🏼💼
At just 9 months old, he’s already a jack of all trades!
🌱 Landscaping: Helped in the community garden and personally taste-tested the bell peppers. 🫑
🧹 Housekeeping: Pre-mopped the lobby floors with his knees. His pants may never recover.
💻 Office Duties: So dedicated he worked through lunch and ate at his desk.
🛒 Resident Services: Helped residents shop in the food pantry and restocked shelves. May have sampled some merchandise along the way.
Performance Review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Excellent enthusiasm, questionable productivity, excessive snacking.
Salary: Snacks, naps, and unlimited cuddles.
Management has decided to keep him. He’s cute, works cheap, and nobody else is volunteering to mop the floors with their knees! 😂❤️