The Alex Perspective

20/10/2026

16/10/2026

Life accumulates, Success or Failure at 40 or 50 started at 25 years.

09/10/2026

MEN, YOUR OLD POWER IS GONE. NOW WHAT?

Relationships are changing. But have we changed with them?

In Kenya, the proportion of women aged 15–49 who were divorced or separated doubled from 4.6% in 1989 to 9.3% in 2022. At the same time, the proportion married fell from 63.1% to 48.1%.

The 2022 Kenya Demographic & Health Survey found that 41% of women & 36% of men had experienced violence (economic, psychological, physical or s*xual) from a current or former intimate partner.

So perhaps we should ask a deeper question:

What if part of the problem is that the world changed faster than our ideas/cultures about relationships?

For generations, masculinity came with a fairly simple formula:

Man = Money + Physical strength + Authority.

He earned. She cared for the home. He made the final decision. In many homes, the person bringing home the money also held the power.

And when money couldn't settle the argument, sometimes size, threats or intimidation did.

Women had their own forms of power; emotion, affection, s*xuality, approval & sometimes, withholding them.

So we created two unhealthy extremes:

The macho man: “I provide, therefore you obey.”

The submissive man: “I don't want conflict, so I'll just keep her happy.”

Neither is strength.

But something changed.

Women went to school. Built careers. Started businesses. Bought property. Earned their own money. Became CEOs, professionals & breadwinners.

Today, a Kenyan woman can have her own business or salary, car, house, investments & still tell a man, “I don't need you to survive.”

For some men, that has quietly broken an old identity or created an uncomfortable question:

“If I am no longer automatically more powerful than her, who am I?”

Because if your masculinity depended on being the one with more money, more status or more control, what happens when she earns more than you?

You either evolve or become angry at the world for changing.

And this is where David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man offers an interesting idea: s*xual polarity.

Not male domination.
Not female submission.
Not “men are superior.”

Polarity is about two people being fully themselves while bringing complementary qualities into the relationship rather than competing to see who controls whom.

A woman doesn't need to become smaller for a man to feel like a man.

And a man doesn't need to become bigger, richer or more aggressive for a woman to respect him.

Your worth cannot depend on winning against your partner.

A Kenyan man may come home & discover that his wife earns more than him.

That's not an insult.
Her promotion didn't demote you.
Her success didn't make you a failure.
And her independence doesn't mean she doesn't need your contribution.

Your value can be in your character, purpose, courage, emotional steadiness, responsibility, leadership, love, competence & the direction you bring to your life and family.

Likewise, ladies:

A man is not your ATM, security guard or emotional punching bag.

If he loses his job, he hasn't lost his dignity.
If you earn more, you haven't automatically become the boss of the relationship.

Marriage is not a company where whoever owns more shares becomes CEO.

The challenge for today's man is therefore bigger than “provide for your family.”

It is:
Become a man who doesn't need control to feel powerful.

And the challenge for today's woman is:
Become a woman who doesn't need control, manipulation or humiliation to feel secure.

Don't use money to control.
Don't use s*x to control.
Don't use children to control.
Don't use silence, threats or violence to control.

Build something better:

Two capable adults choosing each other, not two insecure people trying to own each other.

Because when yesterday's definition of masculinity dies, there are two choices:

resent the woman who changed…
or

become the man who changed with the times.

The future of relationships may not belong to the strongest man or the richest woman.

It may belong to men & women who are strong enough not to need power over each other.

That's a different kind of masculinity or a perspective.
And perhaps a healthier kind of love.

Have a blessed Weekend.

04/10/2026

Your Flight Is Coming

The other day, I was reading about the class struggle between the bourgeoisie—owners of capital and businesses—and the proletariat—workers. It is one of the central ideas in Marxist theory.

Something struck me.

Many people who started as workers but later achieved financial freedom or built successful businesses never saw themselves as permanently being workers. They saw that stage as temporary—a stepping stone towards something bigger.

Perhaps that mindset is one reason entrepreneurship is so strong in America.
Life has very few permanent states.

Where you are today does not necessarily have to be where you remain tomorrow.

That is also why I struggle with the idea of hating the rich simply because they are rich.

To me, hating someone else's success can be like hating your future self in advance.

Unless you know for certain that you will never become wealthy—which I don't think any of us can know—why hate those who are already where you hope to be?

Especially those who have created wealth by solving problems, creating businesses and providing value.

Think about it this way:

Imagine you are at an airport.
Your flight is scheduled for 8:00 PM. Someone else's flight is at 10:00 AM.

Would you spend the morning angry because they are boarding before you?

"These people are taking all the planes! What will I fly in at 8 PM?"

Of course not.

You have your ticket. You have met the requirements. You know your flight is coming.

You may experience delays. You may even face cancellations or other challenges. But you don't need to wish the 10 AM flight a crash just because yours hasn't left yet.

What good would that do you?

And what planes will you use when your turn comes if you've spent your time wishing all the other planes would crash?

I think life is somewhat similar.
I prefer not to call people who are struggling "poor."
I call them starters.

Because most of us have something to offer.
If you are learning, working, building, solving problems and creating value, you are essentially paying for your ticket.

The daily grind is part of the price.
Your "flight" may not have a boarding time printed on the ticket. That's the frustrating part of life.

You don't know exactly when your turn will come.
But you can increase your chances by becoming better at your craft, creating value, taking calculated risks and staying in the game.

So don't hate the people who are flying today.
Learn from them.

Your flight may be delayed, but that doesn't mean it has been cancelled.

As Henry David Thoreau put it:

"If you confidently advance in the direction of your dreams & endeavour to live the life you have inagined, you will meet with success unexpected in common hours."

Keep working.

Keep learning.

Keep building.

Your flight is coming.

Have a blessed week.

28/09/2026

HOW DO YOU MAKE REGRET USEFUL?

The problem with regret is that it usually arrives after the decision.

What if we could move regret before the decision?

I recently watched a fictional time-travel movie, and it got me thinking: What if we could use this idea in real life?

While researching, I came across Suzy Welch’s 10-10-10 concept.

Before making an important decision, ask:

How will I feel about this in…
10 minutes?
10 months?
10 years?

Our brains can mentally travel into the future—not perfectly, of course, but enough to imagine possible consequences.

Imagine it's Sunday. Your friends call: “Bro, leo ni leo! Twende tuchome!”

You’re about to binge-drink until 3 a.m.

Now time-travel to Monday.

You see yourself waking up with a serious hangover, struggling to concentrate at work, regretting every life decision you made at 2 a.m.

Then come back to Sunday and ask:

“Is tonight really worth tomorrow’s headache?”

Same thing with money.

You’re about to take a huge car loan—not because you need the car, but because you want to show people “umeendelea.”

Time-travel 10 years.

Maybe you see yourself still paying the loan, while wishing you had invested or saved that money.

Suddenly, that shiny car doesn't look so shiny.

You can use this with almost any decision.

Before cheating.
Before sleeping around.
Before stealing.
Before binge drinking.
Before gambling your money away.
Before taking that unnecessary loan.
Before sending that angry WhatsApp message.

Travel forward. See the possible consequences. Then decide.

You can also travel backward.

Remember a decision you once made that you deeply regretted. Remember how it felt. Use that memory as information before repeating the same mistake.

Of course, life is unpredictable. Even if you think carefully, things won't always turn out as expected.

But perhaps good decision-making isn't about eliminating regret.

It's about moving some of the regret from AFTER the decision to BEFORE it.

You don't need a time machine.

Sometimes, you just need to pause long enough to meet your future self.

Have a blessed week.

22/09/2026

Maybe Happiness Is Not Where We Think It Is

You would think these are the perfect ingredients for happiness:

a) A comfortable income
b) A good marriage or relationship
c) Great health
d) A life without major tragedy or trauma

And yes, they matter.

But interestingly, research associated with psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that our circumstances explain only a relatively small part of the differences in people's long-term happiness.

Her 2005 model emphasized three broad influences: our natural predispositions, life circumstances, and what we intentionally do and think.

Here is where things get interesting.

We don't simply judge our lives by what we have. We often judge them by what we have compared with other people.

You can earn KSh 200,000 and feel successful—until you discover your friend earns KSh 500,000.

Suddenly, your KSh 200K feels like poverty.

You can drive a decent car until your neighbour buys a new one.

You can be proud of your house until Instagram shows you someone else's mansion.

You can be happy with your progress until you start measuring your life against someone else's highlight reel.

And that's the trap.

There will almost always be someone richer, fitter, younger, more successful, more travelled or further ahead.

If your happiness depends on winning that comparison game, you have entered a competition with no finish line.

A better comparison might be:

Me today vs. me yesterday.

Am I wiser?
Am I healthier?
Am I financially better?
Am I closer to my goals?
Am I becoming the person I want to become?

Because the goal isn't to have a life that looks better than everyone else's.

The goal is to build a life that is better than the one you were living yesterday.

Maybe happiness isn't about finally having enough.

Maybe it's about learning to recognise your own progress.

So, how are you doing compared to yourself?

16/09/2026

MODERN LIFE DISEASE: Why You Feel Inadequate Today!

The disease masquerading as a dream.

Have you recently felt any of these?

• Restless
• Behind in life
• Alone
• Unseen

You’re not alone. I’ve been there too. And psychologists have studied many of these feelings.

But something interesting is happening.

Social Media Is Feeding the Comparison Giant
Every time you check WhatsApp Status, Instagram or Facebook, you see people 'seemingly' doing better than you.

Someone bought a car.

Someone got promoted.

Someone is travelling.

Someone is building a mansion.

Someone is “living their best life.”

And suddenly, your perfectly normal life starts looking like a failed project.

Social media has made comparison available 24/7.
And ironically, there’s very little “social” about social media.

1,000 followers cannot replace one person you genuinely talk to, laugh with and spend time with in real life.

Then Came AI;

For years, we were told to work hard, become skilled and intelligent.
So we did.

We spent years studying. Practising. Building expertise.
The world rewarded those skills.

Then AI arrived and said:

“Give me one prompt.”

Things that took years to learn can now be done in seconds and at a fraction of the cost.

So naturally, we start asking:

How do I stand out now?
Have my skills become disposable?

We don't have all the answers yet.

And Then There Also Advertising;

Mainstream media constantly reminds us of what we supposedly lack.

“Buy this.”
“Look like this.”
“Drive this.”
“Live here.”

“Then your life will finally be complete.”

But somehow, after buying the thing, we need another thing.

The finish line keeps moving.

That's the rat race.
And inadequacy can also come from peer competition, our personalities, expectations from family and many other sources.

So, What's the Cure?

Maybe start here:

1. NAME THE FEELING.
Are you feeling behind, alone, restless or unseen?
Don't just say, “I’m stressed.”
Get specific.

2. IDENTIFY THE REAL NEED.
What are you actually looking for?
Significance?
Security?
Belonging?
Recognition?
Love?

3. ASK WHAT YOU ARE USING TO FILL THAT NEED.
Is it money?
A job title?
A promotion?
A bigger car?
More followers?
More likes?

What are you hoping will finally make the feeling disappear?

4. GO FOR THE REAL THING.
If you want belonging, don't tell yourself:

"I'll make money first, look successful, then I'll make friends."

Build genuine relationships now.
Be yourself.
Find people who like you, not the carefully edited version of you.

Because you can get a million likes and still feel incredibly alone.
Sometimes we're chasing the proxy instead of the actual thing we need.
And Finally...
Compare yourself with yourself.

Ask:
Am I better than yesterday?
Am I better than I was a month ago?

Trying to stay ahead of everyone else is a losing game.
At any point in life, someone will be ahead of you.

Life is an infinite game.
There are known players.
Unknown players.
And unlike football, nobody tells you exactly when the final whistle will blow.

So why spend your entire life trying to beat people whose starting points, journeys and finish lines you don't even know?

Maybe the real competition isn't with everyone else.

Maybe it's with the person you were yesterday.

The Alex Perspective: Process over Outcome

15/09/2026

Be careful what you listen to. Our minds are wired in a surprising way.

We think we:

1. Hear something
2. Check whether it is true or false
3. Then form a belief.

But often, we actually:

1. Hear something
2. Believe it
3. Only later—if we have the time or interest—question whether it is true.

The lesson? It is easier to believe than to doubt. So don't believe everything you hear. Question it, check the facts, and think for yourself.

What you repeatedly listen to can quietly shape what you believe—and eventually how you live.

14/09/2026

Have a Fruitful Week.

12/09/2026

What if being smart isn’t what makes you successful?

A number of success stories seem to depict that success belongs to the genius or the highly intelligent , or the person with exceptional talent.

But life can be surprising.

You’ll sometimes see someone with less talent or education going further than someone highly intelligent or gifted.

Go back to your graduation class; whether high school or college; evaluate how some people who you thought were dumb, probably coz they were always at the bottom 10 after ranking. You will find some doing extremely well in business or life.

Why?

They started.

While one was still thinking, researching and waiting for the “perfect time,” the other was trying, failing, learning and improving.

Education is valuable. Intelligence matters. But ideas without action produce nothing.

Don’t let fear, overthinking or the need to be perfect keep you stuck.

Start. Fail. Learn. Adjust. Start again.

Sometimes, the biggest advantage isn’t being smarter.
It’s simply being willing to act.

Success is learning to fail again and again with no lack of enthusiasm; Credited to Winston Churchill.

Process over Outcome.